The Four Keys
The other day a friend showed me a post on social media from someone in our community. It was asking for signatures on a petition for something that she felt should be changed pertaining to one of her children’s travel sports teams. My friend wanted me to read the comment section because, as she said, “It’s a train wreck.”
I read only a few comments before getting so upset that I had to close out of the application. We’ve all seen comment sections like these. People emboldened, for whatever reason, to be cruel to people who do not share their opinions. I closed the application, but I thought about these comments all day. The more I thought about it, the angrier I became. How could people in my own community be so mean to a neighbor because they have a different belief system? In these moments, when my mind is full anger, sadness, and fantasies about what I am going to comment or say to people - that’s when my yoga practice becomes my lifeline.
Over the years I have consistently turned to Patanjali’s Yoga Sutra 1.33 when I become upset at another person or person’s actions. Often referred to as The Four Keys, sutra 1.33 teaches that in order to preserve a calm mind and open heart we should practice the following attitudes:
Kindness to those who are happy.
Compassion for those who are less fortunate.
Friendliness for those who embody noble qualities.
Indifference to those whose actions oppose your values.
Kindness to those who are happy.
Imagine you are sitting on the beach, reading a good book. A group of little kids start digging holes and building a sandcastle next to you. They are running around, giggling and laughing. Instead of getting upset about their noise distracting your reading, delight in their happiness. Maybe you watch them for a few moments and think about the fun times in your own childhood. You may choose to move down the beach or ask the kids to move to another spot, but you do so with kindness in your heart.
Compassion for those who are less fortunate.
Have you seen that meme on social media about how we really don’t know the battles that other people are fighting, so we should show them compassion? That’s the second key. When people do certain things that result in their own suffering, it is not our place to judge them. We do not know the whole story. Hold your judgement and show compassion instead.
Friendliness for those who embody noble qualities.
Is there someone that you know who is virtuous? It doesn’t even have to be someone you know personally. It could be a famous person from history or even a character from a book or a movie. The third key suggests that we think about how this person would respond, and we emulate their behavior. When I contemplate the third key I always think, “What would Dolly Parton do in this situation?” She’s a national treasure, my friends.
Indifference to those whose actions oppose your values.
Ugh. This is the hardest of the Four Keys. There are terrible people in the world that do terrible things. This, unfortunately, is life. The four keys are practices for maintaining OUR OWN openness of heart and calmness of mind. Therefore, we must be indifferent to their actions.
The Four Keys are not easy to practice. I can come up with a million “buts” for examples for each one. However, our intention is to preserve our own calmness of mind. We do not have control over other people. We can only control how we think about and respond to their actions.
I’d love to hear your thoughts about the Four Keys and how you can practice them in your own life. If you don’t feel like sharing, I encourage you to write about it in a journal or simply meditate on it.
Namaste,
Kate
